How To Regulate Your Nervous System: Holiday Edition
So you barely made it through November and the thought of doing anymore holiday planning has you stressed. Maybe it is being polite to rude relatives, the pressure to buy gifts and spend money when funds are already tight, or the obligated attendance at events—all can increase stress. If you are already feeling tense, upset, and wanting to burrow in a hole until mid-January, you are not alone. Fortunately, as a somatic therapist in San Francisco, I have some ideas on how to help you tune into your body and feel less emotionally unbalanced as the holidays continue. The following are some recommendations on how to take care of yourself during this season.
A Somatic Therapist’s Tips To Regulate Your Nervous System During the Holidays
1) Create A Plan For How You Want To Approach The Holidays.
If you know that you are going to events that will especially tax you or that you will be around people that are unpleasant or unhelpful, I recommend looking at the amount of energy you have or (think you will have) and plan accordingly. Keep in mind, you can always say no to attending events in order to preserve your mental health. If you know you can only handle a few events per holiday season, honor that and say no to a couple of invitations. If you can’t stand more than an hour at a certain function, then . . .leave after an hour. Though you may worry about what others think, the people that have your best interest at heart will understand if you to need to take care of yourself. I would also recommend thinking through ways to excuse yourself or handle guilt trips if that is something that you have had trouble navigating in the past.
Or, say gift-giving feels like a never-ending chore, setting a plan for what you are willing to do and spend and sticking to it can provide relief! Having plans in place will give you a sense of control during a season where expectations (either from yourself or others) can feel overwhelming.
2) Identify People That Will Be Helpful To Your Holiday Plans
If you are going to a party or other social engagement, evaluate who drains or restores your energy. It makes sense to spend more time with people that restore your energy and respect your boundaries as opposed to those who leave you feeling exhausted. So be thoughtful about who you engage with and for how long. Your energy and time are precious resources.
3) Take Time To Care For Yourself
Even during the holidays, the regular rules for self-care apply. Eat (reasonably) healthy, get some exercise, make sure to get an adequate amount of sleep since these simple actions will help restore you and keep you going. Bonus points if you go out in nature and spend time with loved ones!
Lastly, if you find yourself in a panic or are hiding from your family in the bathroom (which I hope does not happen to you) remember this:
1) You can reset your nervous system by dunking your face in very cold water and holding your breath. Reference this video on the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Tipp skill that involves the Dive Reflex: https://youtu.be/ZVHtjDgc_XU?si=-uoKGXLD64rThDAg
2) You are in charge of your life. Give yourself permission to leave any situation that is toxic to your mental health. Other people may react or feel a certain way about your decisions but it is up to them to regulate their emotions, just as it is your responsibility to regulate yours.
I hope the upcoming holidays provide you a sense of peace and joy and that you spend time with people you care about. If, however, you find that you need help navigating your emotional well-being or regulating your nervous system during this time, please reach out to me at lisa@lisamanca.com